Why You Get More Love When He's Got Less Money

Glamour's dating columnist, Jake, says that in lean times, men try a lot harder. Guys can't hide a bad personality quite as easily without opera tickets or bottle service every night at the hottest club. We say, "Bring it on."
By Jake

My grandma grew up during the Depression, with no money. Instead of dates, she and her friends went to someone's house, cleared out the furniture, turned on the radio and danced. "If you liked a boy, you made sure he was invited," she told me.

I remember thinking that seemed so cute and old-fashioned. Yet with the way our economy's going, the days of moving a couch to bust a move may not be far off. And while everyone's feeling the pinch, men are taking a hit in more than our wallets. It wallops a guy's ego when he can't pay for a share in that amazing summer beach house, or if the only meal he can buy you comes in a cardboard box. At the same time, the economic slowdown could ultimately be good for guys and the women who date them. I predict that ...

Dates will get more interesting

The most romantic thing I ever did (according to female friends) was in college. When I discovered that the woman I liked had had a terrible high school prom, I threw her one in my dorm room, complete with a sign declaring her queen of the dance.

Compare that with the effort I made to plan a more recent date: Google concert tickets, type in credit card number, hit "confirm." If I know the charms of a sweet, thoughtful gesture, why do I opt for the quickie, grandiose one? Because like most guys I live in fear that a woman will label me a penny-pinching lame-ass. It's a shame, too, because pricey gestures are generally no-brainers (I mean, who hates a bottle of Dom?), while special-yet-cheap dates demand that you really think about the lady who's going to be out with you. With less scratch to throw around, men will have to be more creative and considerate. I think you're gonna like the results.

He'll get more interesting too

My buddy Brian is a banker with a beautiful girlfriend. For several years, they've shared his lavish lifestyle — sleek apartment, private-club membership, theater subscriptions, you get it. The thing is, Brian just got laid off. Suddenly having to watch his spending has him completely rattled. "I had a harsh realization," he confided to me. "I hide behind money instead of working on my personality." He said he felt especially unnerved when it came to his girl: "I wondered if I was good enough for her."

Never one to sit back and hope for the best, Brian got busy. He's learning how to cook, reading The Economist, putting more effort into this fascinating new couples activity called conversation. "Now that I've had to drop the facade, I like myself more," he said. His girlfriend seems to agree.

He'll quit lying with his wallet

Part of feeling like a man is having the ability to pay. So when my ex Claudia and I were going out every night, I was banging my chest with macho pride as I covered the checks, but secretly I was going under. I was determined to be that guy. After all, it's a compliment when a woman wants to spend time with you. What was I supposed to say — "Great, but it's gonna cost you"?

My silence, however, cost me plenty. While trying to build something real, I was being dishonest, pretending to have Trump-levels of cash. So did I confess? Not quite. Instead, Claudia moved to Europe, and we broke up before she knew who I really was. That won't happen again.

Here's one last insight that should help you ride out the recession with a smile: Now that they can't woo you with their wallets, men might actually work a lot harder to ensure that you're having a good time. So next time you're disappointed about another DVD-on-the-couch date, move it straight to the bedroom and ask for adequate compensation. Go ahead, be greedy.

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Jake is a real, live single guy dating in New York City.